The Dark Side of the Know, Like & Trust Factor
As an entrepreneur, you’ve heard many times that people prefer to do business with you when they know, like and trust you.
This is a sound marketing principle, yet it may also be limiting your visibility without you even knowing it.
There is a dark side of the know, like and trust (KLT) factor, and it may be impacting your business.
Be honest with yourself. When you hear or think about KLT, what does that look like to you?
- Do you imagine adoring fans, followers and clients?
- Does it bring up images of hanging out with your besties?
- Do you see yourself being an open book, even if doing so isn’t relevant or beneficial?
- Or, perhaps it looks more like projecting that everything is great
If you are seeing yourself in any of that, you are totally normal and I have my own version of this too.
I remember a coach asking me about what I thought it meant when clients said yes to me. I skipped right over they know me, they trust me and went straight to “they love me.”
The moment I heard my words, my heart sank.
I was looking to others to give me value, worth & love. In reality, we are each responsible for what we create in ourselves.
This sneaky, hidden truth and this unhealthy version of KLT was driving how I was being in my business
I could suddenly see how my shadow desire to “win people over” really isn’t the kind of KLT I wanted to create because it’s not truly serving my audience, my clients or me.
Here are a couple more examples of what this might look like?
Public You, Rest of You
Maybe the way you work is a blend of mainstream and alternative or esoteric foundations, you’re out loud about the methods you know that the public KLTs, and hush hush with the rest of the methods you use to get amazing results for clients
People Won’t Like the True Me
Maybe you’ve got a contrary or controversial perspective in your industry, or part of your work involves exploring taboo topics, yet you avoid them or dance around them because people might publicly call you out, unsubscribe from you list or un-follow you.
I recently saw this play out on Instagram with The Holistic Psychologist, Nicole LePera. Her posts focus on relationship dynamics, authenticity, personal responsibility and sovereignty. She shared a post that when she revealed she was in a loving, committed, three-person relationship she lost 18,000 followers and received quite a bit of public judgment and shaming.
Deeper Possibilities of Know, Like & Trust
Based in what I’ve seen so far, I think of Nicole as a genuine model of KLT.
She knows what she’s about as a leader and a business. She reveals bravely and vulnerably what makes up the woman behind the practice, whether people like her for it or not. And she lets people in so they can decide for themselves, so they can experience whether they “get her” or not.
Let’s break this down.
The Know . . .
The know in KLT goes beyond people seeing and recognizing you, your content, your existence right? That’s surface level. The kind of knowing that opens up opportunities and possibilities, happens when we share our values, our story and our perspective.
That’s the difference between people knowing about you and knowing you.
The Like . . .
When it comes to like, it’s not about people pleasing and seeking approval or love. Being a leader or an expert who people like also means being willing to be disliked. The kind of like we want to create goes beyond relating and delves deeper into respect, connection and credibility.
My coach says that true power is feeling free to be who you really are, sharing your truth and receiving whatever comes – and I believe that applies when we’re talking about your like factor.
The Trust . . .
Finally, trust. Social proof, success stories and guarantees are all external marketing that can create trust. What doesn’t get talked about often enough is our energy. When we say or show one thing, like tons of testimonials and accolades, yet always hide mistakes, our true feelings and occasional insecurities people will wonder if you’re not telling them something, if it’s safe to work with you or if they’re going to be let down. The kind of trust we want to create includes the external bits and your inner alignment. It flies in the face of perfectionism and lives into naming and embracing our flaws and strengths. It’s about keeping our word, framing failures as lessons, being able to give and receive honest feedback, and expressing our true feelings in a healthy, respectful way.
Is the dark side of know, like and trust keeping you invisible in your business? Playing it safe, holding back & hiding your magic no longer an option for you?
If you would like my support on your journey to being authentically seen, heard and received in your business and life, I invite you to sign up for one of my Bold Heart Visibility Breakthrough sessions.
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