Why Getting Pitched is Triggering (& What It Might Be Costing You)

We’ve heard (and maybe made) the complaints.

Ugh. Another cold pitch in my DMs.

Don’t connect with me only to sell me something.

I hate when people slide into my inbox with a sales script.

On social media platforms, this sentiment is practically its own genre.

I get it. Many pitches are awkward, misaligned, or feel like a hard sell. That’s NOT what I’m referring to here.

I’m talking about people who genuinely care about connection first, rather than pushing an agenda or assuming their offer is right for you.

You can tell the difference!

When someone pitches me, I don’t get mad or make it mean anything about them. I simply say, “No thanks” and move on.

No need to drag someone through a post for daring to make an offer.

Because, yes, I’m here to build business relationships and do business (shocking, I know!).

Personally, I find LinkedIn to be one of the most aligned platforms to make authentic connections and nurture healthy business relationships.

So I’ve been sitting with this question recently.

Why are so many of us triggered by being pitched?

Why does a message — that we can ignore, delete, or decline — stir up so much emotion?

Here’s one possibility.

When I get curious about this with folks, I often discover that they struggle to pitch themselves.

They resist promoting and selling, avoid making offers, yet want people to know how powerful their work is and hire them.

Ahhh, if only it were as simple as that. That’s one of my fantasies too 😉.

And let’s be real . . .

If you hate being sold to, is it possible that you might also hate selling?

What if the discomfort around selling were an invitation to redefine it in a way that actually serves both you and the people you’re here to help?

True selling is service. It’s a way to connect your abilities, solution, and medicine with someone else’s need.

So if you feel a sting when someone slides into your inbox, instead of lashing out at them and making another vent post, maybe take a beat and ask:

• What is this bringing up in me?
• Do I feel guilt or shame when I share my own offers?
• Do I associate selling with being pushy or selfish?
• Am I afraid of being rejected so I reject others first?
• Do I struggle to say no, then blame others for making me uncomfortable?

Take a look at what’s happening in the world. The days of running from responsibility and accountability for our own thoughts, feelings, and projections are coming to an end.

As coaches, healers, and conscious leaders who value sovereignty, that also means being willing to look in the mirror and lovingly call ourselves out on our own BS.

Once you make peace with selling, and with your own ability to say yes or no, you stop needing to vilify people for making an ask.

You stop projecting your discomfort onto them.

And you start reclaiming your power.

So the next time a pitch lands in your inbox, try this:

Pause.

Breathe.

Notice what’s actually happening, not only what it’s bringing up.

• If it’s a no, say no.
• If it’s a maybe, ask a question.
• If it’s a yes, say yes.

And if it’s a trigger, get curious. Because that charge is showing you something.

When you meet it with love instead of judgment, you get a whole lot freer to sell, serve, and be in relationship with others . . . without taking things personally.

What might change in your business if selling no longer felt like a threat?

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